Simple Wisdom for Living

What kind of boundaries do you have?

The perpetual search that we are on is that of security and significance. It is the sense that we have roots and a purpose. It’s a place we long for where we belong. Many of us do not have a physical place that we can drive to that was our childhood home. Yet, we feel empty and desirous to have that secure feeling. In actuality, what we are seeking is a sense of belonging; a place where we fit.

In our mobile societies in America, we often relocate to new jobs, houses, cities, etc. We go home to visit parents and / or family once or maybe twice each year. In that few days or weeks, we try to fuel our tanks with something that will give us hope, strength, healing, encouragement, or maybe just a sense of normal. Sometimes the journey is helpful. Sometimes it opens up an abundance of questions that we may find are difficult to solve or resolve. Sometimes we make the trip with dread, simply feeling obligated to see the family. All in all, the journey is one we need to take for a variety of reasons.

For healing and strength, and to be what we can be in this life, we need to look back on the reality of what our childhood was with our adult eyes. We may need to ask some questions. We may need to seek some answers, or offer or ask for forgiveness or perhaps just reach a place where we don’t blame the generation before us for everything that is wrong in our lives.

Delaying the journey may keep us suspended in a state of feeling stuck and unable to move on or forward with life. This can manifest in many different ways: an overwhelming sense of discontentment, destructive relationships, overwork, alcohol or drug abuse, anxiety, overspending, anger, control and a repeated feeling of panic every time you’re faced with a similar situation that causes us to be fearful.

The reality is that in life we each have to make the “Prodigal” journey where we leave the nest and the comfort zone of what ever our childhood reality was and go out to make our mark on the world and meet our appointments with life. Our independence emerges in our teens as we try to discover just who we are and why we are here. This phase continues in our lives until we have worked through to establishing an intimate relationship and an individual faith in God.

Before we can master this phase, we must learn that the difficult things in our lives are there for a reason. They are for our growth, maturity and discovery of the path that leads us to the understanding of God’s great love for us.  The void we feel in our lives is one that can only be filled by a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, His Son. Nothing else will bring mental stability and well-being, or a sense of security and significance.

Applying this knowledge with the habit of connecting with others of like-minded faith, allows us to come to depend that God is always for us and for what is best for us and that He is never going to leave us. It is both thrilling and liberating to know that we will always be in His care and He will always work all the drama in our lives together in a tapestry that leads to the good that only He can provide. We trade our sorrow, emptiness, pain, and broken dreams, and He gives us perfect love, peace and a security that surpasses all understanding.

This journey to our sense of belonging (our true home) may last for weeks, months, years or decades. It depends solely on our coming to terms with the fact that we are: a)not God; b) not in control; and c)not left to fend for ourselves in a life with no purpose.

Once these facts are firmly established in our minds, we can begin the part of the journey that leads us to maturity, commitment, purpose and fulfillment.

The path is open to us all ~ the beginning of wisdom is a surrendering of all we ever thought we would or could be to a God who fashions us into all we could ever hope to be! Make your reservation to meet with Him soon and find the path that will bring you home …

Sheri Geyer is a Professional Life & Financial Coach, Mentor, Writer, Wife & Mom

To see how coaching can impact you and the things that keep you up at night, Click to Schedule online for a FREE Consultation

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When we are in the Christmas season, we enjoy telling stories and sharing memories about Christmases in the past. We remember the excitement we had as children. And, the excitement of when our children began to experience the wonder of Christmas.

Our family lived fairly simply because we chose to live on one income and to homeschool. So each December we did two weeks of what we called “Christmas School”. We loved it. We made baskets for family and friends with pumpkin bread, brownies, and a variety of cookies. We enjoyed putting it together. My girls had special recipes like Tea Cookies and No Bake Cookies and Rice Crispy treats they loved making over and over.

I remember making fruit cake cookies with my Grandma. I liked getting to eat pecans that I didn’t have to shell. I remember how wonderful it smelled in our house.

Over the years, and with my mom’s never-ending zeal to learn new recipes, I learned how to make our own eggnog and many holiday items that have become my now “grown-up” traditions.

Totally different from my childhood tradition, every New Year’s Eve, I make cabbage rolls and au gratin potatoes for New Year’s Day. It has become such fun. We invite folks over who bring appetizers or something light and we enjoy.  Jeff looks forward to this day as much as Christmas!

So, to share a little about past Christmases, I’ve included a few ideas that might help you have a touch more simplicity and a little bridge to what past Christmases may have been like.  Enjoy!

1. Making gifts together is a wonderful way for family and friend bonding!
2. Baking gifts are a fun activity to do together. We can give cookies, cupcakes, brownies as gifts to family, it may make them fatter, but not clutter their homes with needless possessions.
3. Volunteering is a neat thing to do as a family or a group of friends. It may be to serve at a shelter or at your church helping out with the nursery for the many happenings that are going on and to help the many new folks who visit during the Christmas season.
4. Christmas songs. My girls and I have always had fun singing Christmas songs while in the car. If you are really into this, many assisted living and nursing homes could benefit from your group showing up to shed some holiday cheer.
5. Playing games. We love, love, love board games and other such games. We find that we can really connect when bringing out the games. Sometimes the competition can get a little intense though!
6. Make ornaments or decorations. Another fun thing to to shop thrift stores. You can find some very inexpensive little treasures for decoration.

Sure, buying gifts is a holiday tradition, but we can change up our traditions to align with the age and stage of life we are in now. Creating a new tradition or enhancing an old one is just another way of bridging the present to the past and making another warm and cozy memory to think back on in the future.

Whatever your tradition, allow the holidays to renew and refresh you. And get ready for an awesome new year!

Sheri Geyer is a Professional Life & Financial Coach, Mentor, Writer, Wife & Mom

I love Christmas! I love the music, candles, sights and sounds. I love how everything lights up the world around me. I love how people seem more joyous.

The part that for many years seemed to cast a shadow over this wonderful time of celebration, was the fact that I had a nagging sense of obligation for what I “should” be doing or buying or being during this time. I longed to just love Christmas as I did when I was a child. I never worried if I bought all the right gifts or what foods to prepare or take to which events and parties. I wasn’t concerned that I would offend folks if I said “Merry Christmas” or if I mentioned a Christmas tree or whatever.

It seemed that for a number of years, I couldn’t truly relax and enjoy the season for fear of missing or overlooking something or someone or not being “relationally or culturally correct” in my greeting.

That all changed a few years back, when I decided that if what I loved about Christmas was so apparent to me as a child — I needed to revisit the sounds and sights of the season through childlike wonder. I began a journey to educate myself and those who may benefit on the reason for keeping a simple Christmas mindset.

I decided not to overcommit to what I would attend or to what I felt I needed to host. I tried to consider that if I was concerned about feelings of obligation around Christmas gift giving, maybe others felt the same. I decided if it was to be – it was up to me. So, I started communicating about the dissatisfaction I felt around feeling robbed of the true beauty and meaning of Christmas.

I began to do a lot less in the way of buying Christmas gifts and more considering gifts of service or things I could make. When I do shop, I try to buy from companies that promote items that benefit companies here in America or artisans within the context of fair trade that actually benefit villages globally to help them with education, healthcare and other needs and NOT countries that have forced child labor. I began to feel that Christmas giving had a sense of purpose and meaning that aligned well with the values I hold dear.

I asked for things that helped others give of themselves and not empty their wallets. I asked for things like a commitment to pray for me each month on the day of my birthdate (the 26th). I asked folks to give to someone in need (even themselves) as a gift in my honor. I offered to babysit or give a haircut or run an errand, not just at Christmas, but anytime during the year that I could be a blessing.

I want to be unique in the way I reach out where I live, work and play. What I have experienced in the way of friendships has been more valuable than anything I could have received in the way of material possessions. I feel good when I give or receive out of a sense of value and purpose.

I like to think that like the little drummer boy, the choices I’ve made for a simple Christmas have made and are making a lasting impact on my little corner of the world. They can in your little corner too.  Consider ways that you can reduce the stress and enjoy the season. Think of ways you can give all year round without busting the budget. You will be amazed at the ideas that you may come up with – and that others may be more than willing to get on board.

So, this season, rejoice in the CHRIST of Christmas and the gift that continues to give — a peace that passes all understanding. And you might find that “everyday can be just like Christmas!” 

Sheri Geyer is a Professional Life & Financial Coach, Mentor, Writer, Wife & Mom

I now laugh at how busy I used to be. I was serious about my ability to be polished in every area. I could be an excellent wife, manage a home, homeschool my three girls, organize finances, lead a support group of 40+ families, volunteer when anyone asked, cook, clean etc. I could do it all, and then some. I thought that was the path to peace. All I needed to do was keep all those plates in the air.

Everyone was doing it all, so I wanted to look as good as everyone else. I had an extra drive and that was the fact that I worked at home so I felt to prove myself, more was required. Meals had to be from scratch. I had to use cloth diapers. No shortcuts! I didn’t want to do it all. Doing it all made me exhausted. Doing it all cost me relationships with those that mattered most to me. Doing it all caused me stress, loss of sleep and anger when my world was out of my control. My busyness was less productive and more chaotic that I would ever admit to.

Becoming less busy was not an accident, but a decision I made intentionally. I made the decision that a busy life wasn’t a life for me. Being a good person, loving wife, mother and friend…that was the life I wanted. Next to that, I wanted the freedom to do things that I was passionate about instead of things that weighed heavy on me. 
Until I purposefully left a life of chronic busyness, I couldn’t see how silly it really was.

The snare of busyness is that sometimes you are so busy, you can’t recognize you are in trouble. You are so overwhelmed that you can’t figure out how to change. You are so used to being busy that you create more work to organize your life so you can be even busier with the hopes of accomplishing more. And, for what? I was miserable and yet trying to create more misery. A catch-22.

You may be caught up in the busyness trap, if…

• You respond to “how are you?” with “crazy busy” or “busy but good”
• You spend time worrying about how busy you are going to be tomorrow
• You get angry when your spouse or others aren’t as busy as you
• You are up at night thinking about everything you didn’t get done
• You let people know how late you stay at work or how much you get done
• You zone out during conversations thinking about all you have to do
• You volunteer for things you don’t care about
• You spend time complaining about how overwhelmed you feel
• You make list after list to make sure you don’t forget anything
• You regularly eat in your car or on the go
• You use a phone in the car because “it’s the only time you have to talk”

If you are anything like me, you are busy because you want to be or because you don’t know how to be un-busy. You are busy out of misdirected guilt because you think if you do enough, you will be enough. When you decide that it is acceptable to live life your way, you can stop being busy and start doing things that matter. You can talk about your meaningful day instead of ranting about your busy schedule. Decide today that you are enough, even if you never do anything, accomplish anything or produce anything ever again. You are enough.

How to be less busy

• Be unproductive on purpose
• Limit the times you check email each day
• Delete email and toss mail that you don’t need to read
• Turn your phone and computer off when you aren’t working
• Turn everything off in the car (except the car)
• Put your iPad down
• Help someone
• Do less, be more
• Stop trying to keep up, measure up or catch up

While you may think that you are making sacrifices for others by being busy, you are likely sacrificing the same relationships you think you are saving. Get real and consider what is most important to you. Then do that first. The rest will wait.

Practice guarding your life from the thief of busyness…

Sheri Geyer is a Certified Life & Financial Coach, Mentor, Writer, Wife & Mom

To see how coaching can impact the things that keep you up at night, click to schedule online for a FREE phone consultation